That's Jacob reading a book with his dad. His dad has the same book in front of him and Jacob is following along. He was trying to show his stuffed Tigger (he still has him) that dad was on the computer talking to him.
It’s Sunday and my absolute favorite day of the week. We all get up, get ready and head out the door for Sunday worship together.
Tuesday is Veteran’s Day and this morning at church a veteran spoke about the sacrifices our men and women make in serving this country and how we thank them for their service. They provide us with safety and freedom that we couldn’t even almost have without their dedication to this great country. Pictures were shuffled through on the powerpoint before service began showing those proud men and women in uniform. Most were not smiling as is the norm in a posed picture of our service men and woman. Some of the pictures shown were snapshots showing them working or enjoying some downtime while still in uniform.
Whoever said, “a picture is worth a thousand words,” doesn’t understand the battle that goes on long after a veteran returns home from a war. Seeing those pictures we smile and a sense of gratitude fills our hearts. We recognize their sacrifice be it voluntarily serving or being drafted into the military. It doesn’t matter. They served this great country and aided in the freedoms that each of us have today. Once those pictures were finished flashing on the screen, I wonder how many of us will think about what life is like now for those veterans.
My husband served three combat tours since 2001. He did tours in Bosnia, Macedonia and Afghanistan. While he was in Bosnia 9/11 happened. It was a scary time for us as we were just hit on American soil. Then, in 2003 he was in Macedonia. He left just after we became pregnant with our baby girl, Kaitlyn. He was able to get an emergency leave that took him two days to get home so that he could be here with me to deliver our baby knowing she would not take a breath and was already onto her reward in Heaven. Forward onto 2005, just a few days before Jacob’s first birthday, and he left for Afghanistan. Dan was hit with a “chinese rocket” and he suffered a leg injury. He was home 9 months later and I knew that wasn’t the same man that had left us.
I thought it would be the same as before and he would bounce back in time and things would settle back down. What I didn’t know then was that there was this man that I loved more than anything slowly slipping into a world I couldn’t understand. It had been happening all along and I never knew it. How could that be?? We shared everything...how could there be a side of him that I couldn’t understand? I had no idea what PTSD was or that it even existed. I’ve shared with you already my own battles to become healthy both mentally and physically, but it didn’t occur to me that he was suffering. I didn’t understand and to be honest, I don’t know as I wanted to understand. It seemed like such a blanket label that everyone is getting that comes home from war now. Oh, but friends, I tell you this...as surely as we sit here today, this is a very real, very serious condition and it can lead to a dangerous place for those that suffer from it.
Night after night of lost sleep because of violent, horrible nightmares, not being able to be in a crowded restaurant, unexpected explosions from fireworks or even having our son innocently scare him by jumping from a closet can send him into a place that even I can’t reach them. In time he comes around, but it has been a long road to get to this point. Understanding that he can’t help it is a huge step. No more than I can take away my bipolar, he can’t take away his PTSD. So, what do you do? You love him with all that you have, you teach your son compassion and you learn triggers and how to avoid them. Never make them see someone for help. It has to be a decision they come to on their own. You can encourage them, but that doesn’t mean there is nothing else you can do. Here is a link for spouses to find support and other resources http://militaryfamily.about.com/. Also, here is a website for veterans themselves who are suffering. www.maketheconnection.net
One thing they did different in recognizing our veterans this morning was to also recognize the families of those that have served. Those of us left behind to be both parents, make family decisions on our own and try to help our kids understand why their parent isn’t home with them.I couldn't even watch the news because with every casualty they announced, I was sure it was Dan until I heard from him. We were lucky that communication was frequent with us as is not the case for everyone. It was such a nice gesture because we do seem to get lost in the shuffle of having the parades for them coming home and singing their praise for their service. I don’t mean this to sound as if it is underserved. Our veterans deserve so much more than we could ever give them, but I did appreciate that someone said, “Hey, we get it, the families left behind also sacrifice.”
Dan is not the kind of guy that wants recognition for his service. He signed up to do what he wanted to do and would never want to bring glory to himself. That is the humility in him and I love that about him. He deserves it though. I just wish there was more acceptance and more knowledge that their battle isn’t over just because they are home. A family member actually said to him, when he said he couldn’t stand being out in a crowded restaurant, “well, you have to get over that.” In that instant I realized the ignorance of not understanding PTSD and how it affects those that suffer from it. I don’t know if they have changed their view, but it is my hope through this post that I can help someone else to understand and get help for themselves even if it is a loved one that suffers from this disease. You are not alone.
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