unedited on purpose so please don’t look at the half hanging lights and sweaty hair :-)
My goal in posting this is really two fold. I want for you to OWN the beautiful person that you are no matter the size of your jeans (or the build of any other part of your body) and to expose you to the idea that you don’t have to be a size 2 to practice yoga. I’m sure you can tell that I have become very passionate about the discipline and all that it brings about as you build your practice. The movement of your body is only one dimension of the practice.
Yoga can be for everyBODY. If you have ever seen a post or magazine cover with a yogi posted on it, I can almost bet it has a trim body that makes the pose look beautiful and effortless. While I love the idea that I look like that when I am practicing, the fact is I don’t... not even almost!
As I said, my goal is to encourage you to own the beautiful you and I can only do that by example so here it is... I’m 220 pounds, wear a size 16 clothes and the girls could probably have their own zip code. There, I said it...I put it out there. Ouch…
It’s exposing to put it out there, but I have to tell you that I really do love this body for what it is instead of hating it for what it isn’t. That is my reality. It will not change anytime soon and I will explain why.
As most of you know, I have come a long way in losing weight and changing my body’s shape. I’m proud of that because I have worked so hard to make that happen. However, having bipolar causes me to have to take a medication that increases the appetite and slows the metabolism. That would be easier to deal with if that were the only thing, but I have also struggled with thyroid disease since my early teens that continues to be a problem especially after starting these Lupron injections. Now, add in medical menopause and that makes it nearly impossible to lose weight. The difference is that I have shifted my focus from trying to lose weight to taking care of myself in the best way possible. That starts with loving myself from where I am at this point and not for where I will be down the road. The truth is that I may never get to that perfect size that I have in my head. What a sad thing to look back over my life and have wasted all that time hating the very body that carried me through my journey.
The lesson is to do all you can and take care of yourself as a whole. That is where yoga has helped me connect in ways I never even realized when it comes to seeing the link between the mind and body. When you love who you are, you take better care of yourself and it leads to positive changes like ridding yourself of negative self-talk and accepting that you are ENOUGH just as you are at this moment. (Full disclosure: still working on that one myself; thank you bipolar)
So, I have put it all out there and while my weight is 80 lbs less than it once was, it’s my heart that feels lighter having let go of unrealistic expectations and accepting myself for what I am...a child of God that is nourishing the body that I have been blessed with to try and reach and encourage others.
Namaste
also...Here is a good resource for how to modify some postures. I would also encourage you to go into a studio and let the instructor help you with alignment and props so that you can experience yoga and all that it offers.
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