Thursday, August 20, 2015

A Heart for God Inside the Body of a Sinner




Summer has been in full swing around our place making for a very busy schedule.  That would explain the absence on the blog over the last few months.  I’ve been trying to put more focus into my daily living and the service of my family so it seems as if the blog was sort of dropped off the list for a while. 

Let me first say that this is off subject from what I normally write about and more out of my comfort zone as it will address my Christian walk and the spiritual journey I am walking daily in hopes of getting closer to my creator. 

Someone posted something the other day that really struck a cord with me.  It wasn’t necessarily the scripture because it was true, but it was the added comment that seemed to knock on my door.  I’m not here to debate the context of the scripture or to get into a heated discussion about how it is applied to our lives today.  I’m simply saying that it affected me in a way that I wanted to address something openly because it seems to have been laying on my heart.  Maybe there is a reason for that and maybe not, but here it goes… 

For a very long time in my adult life, after becoming a Christian, I have hidden in one way or another be it preventing others from knowing about my colorful past or by physically covering myself up to hide what may cause someone else to see me as “less” of a Christian.  Even though there is no ranking system making one person a better Christian than another, I felt ashamed and unworthy of the bonds we can build with each other on a spiritual level.  I understand that only God knows our hearts so it becomes easy for us to judge each other simply by what we see from the outside.  We don’t have the capacity to look inside each other and to know our true intentions so we can sometimes base our opinions off nothing more than how we see each other physically. 

I will be the first to admit that I am far from perfect and have more rough edges than most people you meet on a daily basis, especially those who wear the name of a Christian.  However, that doesn’t keep me from trying daily to live better and get a closer walk with my creator.
2Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” 

After reading that post I began to think about my journey throughout this year to stop hiding behind a veil so as not to be seen under too much scrutiny because, after all… I am still a sinner.  One thing I have come to know for sure is that you can only hide for so long.  It’s exhausting because you become a slave to the thoughts and judgement of others rather than focusing solely on how we are seen through the eyes of God.  To help break free from those chains, I have made a conscience effort to stop hiding and be completely open with who I am and where I have come so that I could maybe encourage someone else along the way.  At the very least it would be releasing that burden that bonded me to the idea of judgement from others and how I am perceived because of choices I made before becoming a child of God.   

I am created new in Christ so that old person no longer walks in these shoes. – Romans 6:4 “We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new live.” NIV



Wow!!! I get the same reaction every time I read that and typing it out sends a renewed energy through my entire being.  Really!?!?!  It is possible that someone like me who made some really bad choices far after reaching an age to know better could be forgiven and allowed to live as if it never happened in the eyes of God.  YES!!!  THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!!  That is the power of our almighty God.    

We live in a fallen world where our sins are forgiven by our Heavenly Father, but we are not always excused from the consequences of our bad choices here on earth.  Sometimes, the decisions we made have a lasting effect in this realm that cannot be always be undone.  A thief who turns from his ways can repay those he has taken from or a relationship can be ended if it was built in error.  I’m sure I could add to the list fairly easily if I were to spend the time on it.  Then, there is the other side of the coin. There are those sins that cannot be undone in this life.  A murderer will pay for his crime sometimes with his own life through capital punishment or by spending his life behind bars in a prison cell.  If he is converted and forgiven from God, that won’t change the fact that he will spend his natural life right where he is, but it does NOT make him any “less” of a Christian in the eyes of God.  You know what that does make him? A forgiven and loved child of God that will receive his reward just as the rest of us will one day when we wake up on the other side of Heaven. 

You are probably wondering what my point is by now since I seem to be rambling a little.  I will get to it, I promise.  My point is that we are ALL from a line of two fallen people who disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden. That makes all of humanity connected through an earthly bond so we are in a sense brothers and sisters alike. So, wouldn’t I go out of my way to bring my sister or brother into a life for God? Don’t we want to see our family living for the creator of this world rather than suffering the fate of not knowing Him?  How can we do that if we are so quick to look down on someone because of what we “think” they may be like because of how they look or dress?  We are not simply born into the fold of God because we are born into this world.  That is a decision that is made by each of us at different points in our lives.  If that were not so then we would all be maturing at the same rate based on how long we have been on the earth and not on how mature our walk is becoming with God. 

Why do we feel it necessary to judge each other because of what we may look like or how we have cared for our body?  The truth is we don’t really know anyone until we know their heart.  Careful in how you pass a blanket judgement, especially as a Christian, because we can cause them to turn away believing they could never be worthy of a life with Christ simply because of past choices they may have made. God has an open door for ALL of us and it does not have an age limit, a weight limit, a past sin quota, a no marks on your body policy or anything of that nature.  

We have to be careful not to put limits on someone by how you see them physically when you have no idea about their heart.  We could so easily turn someone away from the Gospel because we want to look our nose down at people who may not look like what you think a Christian should look like.  I know I don’t look like it and truth be told, I don’t always act like it.  I would love to tell you that I reflect God with every breath I take, but I don’t.  I slip, I fail, I sin and I am not where others may think I should be as a Christian, but God knows my heart.  When I am trying to do better or change, it is important for other Christians and other people in general to allow me to change and see me as who I wish to become.  Seeing them as anything less does not help them get closer to God.  It makes us feel like we will never be good enough to be in your circle, we will never be clean enough to walk the streets representing God in our daily lives.  After all, you have been a Christian for a long time and you pretty much have it honed in and we see you as a leader for us, but when you seem to think you are better than us, we believe you.  You know why? Because you have been a Christian for a long time and rather than question you, we doubt ourselves.  Is that really the result you want from your actions?

Please be careful not to do that!! When I read that comment, I really felt like they were talking directly to me and I know that I sin and fall short of God’s glory, but I try to get better every single day.  It was hurtful because rather than seeing that everyone is in a different stage of their salvation, it seemed like I was being called out because I may have done something when they think I should have known better.   Maybe I haven’t gotten to where you are yet, but that doesn’t mean I am less than you in the eyes of God.  You have made much better decisions in your past than I have, but that still doesn’t make me less. 

I say all this to say that God is NOT just for the clean, pressed pant type person who may “look” the part.  God is a savior for the sinners!! That includes us tattooed, body marked, rough around the edges, crazy people trying to make our way in a fallen world so that we can get to Heaven and live with our King.  God is for ME!!!

It doesn’t matter what I look like, God loves me.  It doesn’t matter that choices I made have a lasting effect on my earthly life, God loves me.  It doesn’t matter who I was before, God loves me.  You know what…he loves me NOW!!  Right here, right now, He loves me just as I am.  That doesn’t mean I don’t have changing to do to my life daily in order to live in His kingdom someday.  It means that He has given me a map to Heaven that leads to a kind of treasure that is far beyond anything I could imagine…I need only to follow the directions. 

So, I stop hiding!  I stop covering up the struggles I face so that you know there is no sin too great to bring to God for forgiveness.  Even as a Christian we will struggle and I know that I fail God daily.  I make the same mistakes again and then I make new ones (I’m gifted that wayJ) but God is there to pick me up again and again never failing to forgive me for stumbling.  I stop covering up my tattoos because it is part of me and God loves ALL of me.  Some people found them offensive saying I defaced my temple and have said as much to me. It was hurtful because you have no idea about my life and who I am as a person. Besides, that same defacing the temple argument could include a lot of things that I am sure we wouldn’t want placed on the list such as smoking, overeating, drinking, ear piercing, make-up, etc. Any number of these things could be considered defacing because it changes or alters the way it looks…just saying! 

We have to put that aside and be concerned with each other’s hearts and if we are doing something against God’s commands then He tells us exactly what to do about it in Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you…” NIV. 

However, we do have to make sure that we understand it is a Biblical command they are breaking and not because we don’t know they did this before becoming a Christian or because it goes against our personal standards.  God will judge us by Biblical standards and those are the acceptable rules by which to try and help someone see their error. I've reached out to try and see where I offended them and how I could make it right and understand where I erred in my decision, but they have not responded.  All I ask is that you show me the scripture so that I can become more educated and know not to make the same mistakes. When it is scriptural, I am not offended at all and earnestly want to know so that I can do better.  I can't do better until I know better so simply bring it to me in scripture and I will have an open heart to receive it and will apologize publicly if necessary. 

Passing judgement on someone based solely on what you see physically or what we perceive to be true can be a turning point pushing them further away from God.  So, I won’t hide anymore because I don’t want you to think if you are marked (be it ink, a title, a reputation, mental illness, etc.) that God isn’t for you because He is for everyone.  He loves ALL of you too no matter where you came from, no matter what you look like, no matter what decisions you have made, HE LOVES YOU!! There is no reason for me to hide anything because God will still allow me into His fold and will do the same for you.  It is liberating to realize and fully accept that God accepts me because of my faith and obedience.

So, when you see me and you see my tattoos or watch me spiraling because I forgot my medication or you see me quietly sitting in the corner, know that my label hasn’t changed.  I am still a child of the King!!! There is victory in that!

God wants all of us to come to repentance 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness.  Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 

My hope is to encourage you to know that God loves the sinners and knows the condition of our heart so don’t hide behind the judgment of others. When we have placed our lives before God and live for him through His word, He sees us as His children and not by what we look like on the outside.

I’m not here to debate what would fall onto the list of defacing our bodies.  That is not for me to say.  I’m just saying that we can’t put one person on the “shame” list because they have one of them and leave ourselves off because we have a different one from the list.  I am here to say that no matter what you see on the outside of me, I am still a Christian and God will call me home one day and none of this will matter anyway. I'd be lying to say I wasn't looking forward to that day.  My family means everything and I love them with all that I am, but I want more than anything to go home and live with my King. 

If there is an actual list in the Bible, please do tell me through the scriptures and the context of which it was written and I am more than happy to follow the word of God and try and help others do the same.  My personal feelings about something simply doesn’t matter when it comes to a command in the scripture. If there is a conflict between my feelings and the scripture, the scripture will ALWAYS win because that is from God.

Now that I look back on this past week, I am actually thankful for that thought provoking comment (as hurtful as it was) because it has made me take a much deeper look into the scriptures and dig a little deeper into my heart.  That is what we are to do and when we learn more of what to be from God's word, we get closer to the King.  


Just a note from my heart to yours…